The Return

...and I'm back. Hopefully this time for good...

I apologize for the lack of posts over the past year or so, it had been a period of challenging growth, leaving me little energy to write. Plus, who wants to read dark, depressing posts all the time? Actually, you should be thanking me for sparing you.

I'm still with Les Mis, that hasn't changed. Thankfully, I'm back on viola. You know, that whole "once a violist, always a violist" thing is actually true.

I recently had the privilege of taking an audition for the Kennedy Center Opera House Orchestra. No, I didn't win the job, so all of you Les Mis fans have nothing to worry about. I'm not going anywhere any time soon. But let's get back to that audition. It was a grueling process, as auditions are. You spend every waking moment thinking about and hopefully practicing for the 5-10 minutes that you're in the room with the audition committee. It seems like an awfully big sacrifice for such a small window of performance time, I know. In fact, it's easy to come away with a great deal of negative thoughts about the experience.

Let's go there for a second. Auditions can be a horrible expense, both financially and emotionally. You have to pay to fly there, pay to stay in a hotel for several nights, give up all your free time for months prior as you prepare (this involved me spending a week of family vacation stuck in the hotel room driving my neighbors crazy with Strauss, Brahms, and Walton for hours a day...), and did I mention the stress and anxiety that manages to pervade every moment of every day leading up to the actual audition? So, yes, it sucks.

But let's think of all the positives. The audition was in Washington, DC, which is one of my favorite cities. Furthermore, it was at the Kennedy Center, which is like heaven for artists. So, I was nervous and stressed, but I got to be somewhere I loved. Then, I was eliminated after the first round, which meant I only played 3 excerpts (out of the 28 I had prepared). Too bad all the cool things to do in DC are FREE... After what was a stressful, but formative audition, I got to play in DC for the rest of the weekend and even got to catch up with long-lost childhood friends. Maybe I should just make it a rule that I only take auditions in cities that I like? Thus, what could have been a depressing, stressful experience, became a fun-filled, theraputic weekend.

Was I disappointed that I didn't advance or win the job? Yes, a little. But let's be realistic, there were about 100 excellent violists auditioning for 1 spot. I was just happy I didn't fall flat on my face in the audition room. It's a start to feel like you can make it through the excerpts without making a complete fool of yourself. Also, remember I'm a theatre player, orchestral stuff isn't exactly my cup of tea. (Speaking of tea, now that I'm back on viola, I can consume as much tea as possible during the show! No more worrying about caffeine affecting my playing, there's just so much less pressure.) The day was a great accomplishment for me emotionally as well, as I left the audition room at peace with the situation. To make it through without beating oneself up over the "failure" of not winning is a great accomplishment.

All of this being said, will I start auditioning all the time? No. But there may be a few in the future and I'm glad to be approaching them with a little less fear than before. I mean, the only way to get better at auditioning is just to do it over and over.

So, if you're an aspiring string player, my only advice is to just throw yourself into audition situations. You're not going to overcome anything by avoiding it. And if you are scared, at least the auditions are blind, so if you do screw up, you just walk away and no one has to know who you are.

Alright, it's show time kids. Enjoy your evening.

Later.